The Invisible Woman

It’s ironic that I am writing this on a day, a month that celebrates ‘Woman’s day’. And I am one of those who completely despises the concept of a day for anything except festivals. The fact is that one requires a DAY to celebrate love, women, father, mother’s days to prove to all and sundry that we exist. And what is celebration?? Buying red roses and expensive gifts and dinners to prove love, lust or whomever you are dating that year? To prove a woman is special by posting something about the ‘strength of a woman’ and the job is done? Or take your old parents to one dinner and take a selfie and ignore them the rest of the year?

The sad part is we follow blindly what the western cultures parades, if they are doing it, why not us? And this blog is not a rant on commercialising everything, including matters of the heart.

The fact is, and I speak from my community, the community of women, we are largely invisible, yes invisible. In every day, the things we do, the monotonous tasks a woman has to do day in and day out, because it is expected of us and because we ourselves do it no matter what.

We are invisible because no matter how large a workforce we have become, we are still ignored when it comes to basic stuff. Don’t believe me? Read ‘INVISIBLE WOMEN’ a book that changed my life when my 23 year old niece Aanchal introduced me to it 2 years ago.

Let me tell you outright, it made me angry, upset, frustrated when I read the statistics and facts as to how every concept to every technology to even the bed and chair you sit on has been designed for men. But for me this went beyond that and I take it from my own experiences.

We exhaust ourselves to the point of no return, we put each and every effort Multi tasking stuff from day to night, what we truly need from time to time is support, from our respective male friends/ partners/ spouses to say, ‘Take a breather’. A woman really doesn’t ask much. She doesn’t need a DAY filled with messages about how ‘great’ a woman is when in reality it has to transcend into showing that same woman how much she is appreciated and supported from time to time.

And yes women, we don’t have to be ‘EQUAL’ to men because we never were and never will be. Because the concept of equality has been completely screwed over. We are unique, we have our own strengths and weaknesses, and we should ask for help when we need it and we should truly stop trying to be like Men. It is just not at the same level. They are differently wired than us in every way, biologically, physiologically, emotional and mental.

Everybody has their opinion and I stick to mine, but I can tell you one thing, women in whichever part of the world you go to, work the hardest, always. Right from the farmer’s wife to corporate to the cities. Every goddamn place I have seen this. It is that nurturing, that caring that is built in us. We make sure we check with our family if they have been taken care of first, but do you get that every single day from your man? Who atleast checks on you every day if you want something to eat? Who checks on you if you are ok every day? Women do that every single day, sub consciously every single damn day. And I do know that the moment my male friends/ acquaintances read this post will be the responses. No no I am not like that, I do stuff at home. I take care too. Right on the defence!

Guys this is not just about YOU, this is about the men, period. Understand, appreciate the women in your life every single day. We don’t want flowers, dinners the works, show, express your support in little ways. Show the world that change can happen. Give her space to voice her opinions, her heart without feeling judged.

I leave with you something my niece told me years ago( yes the same one, Aanchal) when she saw one of those awareness videos as a Woman’s day special. In that video, a mother is teaching her son how to respect girls, or some kind of preaching. She only said with a sigh, ‘ Teaching a boy/ a man how to respect women has to again come from a woman? Again the burden falls on us to make that change? When will videos come out where a father sits with son and daughter and tells them the same?’ I rest my case.

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